WWW. KEVINOLEARY .COM!
So Easy A Sasquatch Can Do It!
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It doesn't take a clairvoyant to tell me you're here to view my website!
KEVINOLEARY.COM
Well you can't because all hell broke loose the other day... reducing me to a state of utter confusion and total disorder regarding this project!
What's happened is - in the blink of an eye, anarchy and absolute lawless chaos took over my life!
With much regret, this website under construction debacle is hopefully only a temporary setback...
Frankly I blew a gasket after reading the headline, which is rare for me, because I don't have time to read... Usually I just look at the pictures on most web pages! (I'm a visual guy!)
It takes a heck of a lot for me to loose my temper! But seriously folks... "So Easy A Sasquatch Can Do It?"
In my opinion everything about this headline is misleading, and highly unsettling...
As far as headlines go, this particular headline is borderline sophism! Granted the so-called message might be considered a plausible argument, but in reality it's totally fallacious...
And knowing the Sasquatch the way I do, I can tell you, most Sasquatch pods will find it offensive!
Yes, the Sasquatch lives in pods commonly referred to as "Squatch-pods!" Unlike Dolphins who travel in ocean pods... the Sasquatch travels in "Squatch-pods" found deep within in our forests!
Am I actually supposed to shell out a fist full of money to some copywriter for an obvious blatant rip-off of the old "So Easy A Caveman Can Do It" marketing campaign you see on TV? ... I Don't Think So!
And who pray tell, authorized the use of this image of a real live Sasquatch, discovered living in the forest behind my apartment building to promote this website? Surely not me! This was supposed to be a secret damn it!
The Sasquatch image won't make the headline any more compelling... nor will it be more convincing to the average visitor to my website! ... Even If The Sasquatch Is Carrying A Sign With My Website URL On It!
Unfortunately the guy I hired to write the website copy for this site is nothing more than a "Hack", and just doesn't get it! Not only that - he smells bad!
As it turns out he's Not the innovative, charming, world class professional copywriter - he claimed to be over the phone!
How do I know this?
...Within the first hour after showing up at my door, he began tossing peanut shells, banana peels, and melon rinds all around the house! Then he started screeching like a banshee - "I'm The Head Writer And Demand Respect!"
Well... I confronted the little bastard and shouted: "Look Here MISTER!" ...
But before I could lay into the little SOB - He interrupted me, and this is where it really got weird... in the strangest little "Wizard Of Oz-ish" falsetto voice, he screams at the top of his lungs....
"That's MISTER I Don't Wear Pants When I'm Working Because I'm The Keyboard Monkey! - To You!"
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There's no middle ground with this guy...
Adopting a freakish brooding persona is one thing, but if he's not bi-polar then I can only guess that...
A rare incurable condition that reminds me of "Writers Rebellion" with a slight touch of "Unraveling Turmoil" is driving this fool... and it's ugly!
Folks... something really weird is going on with this guy, and if he pushes me any further, that little brain of his may end up as an a-la-carte delicacy item at the local Chinese restaurant up the street!
Tell me what you think... am I over reacting? Or is this the typical nonsense everyone goes through when they try to put up a website?
For the time being you can reach me via email!
Later!
